Questions about grief

AmazonCover

THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO

COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS

Readers’ questions to a near-death experiencer at BeyondtheVeil.net

Chapter Four

Grief

…your site certainly came into my view at the exact time period in which I could not have needed it more. Thank you for your courage in sharing your story, and for the manner in which you decided to share it. –Patricia

*Afraid my father was alone when he crossed over

*Grieving for twin

*Can’t get over mother’s death

*Searching for peace of mind

*I don’t feel my son around me

*How do I cope with the sadness?

*Does my husband forgive me for not telling him he was dying?

*Does he know I’m thinking about him?

*It must have been his spirit

*Do animals go to Heaven?

*Will I see my pet in the afterlife?

*Agonizing over daughter’s death

*I’m unable to let go of my spouse

*Loss of a sibling and the mother’s grief

*Your story helped me

*I have this need to know

*Devastated by the loss of my mother

*Is my brother at peace?

*Will my son be there when I get there?

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Cosmic Consciousness

is available exclusively on Kindle

Book Recommendations from Diane Goble

Visions of Heaven

A Journey through the Afterlife

by Lisa Miller

In her article in “Time,” aptly posted at 12:01 AM on Easter Sunday, Lisa Miller begins with the question–

If you’ve seen heaven, does that mean it exists?

time_visionsheaven_trade_hi_res_frnttThe article is adapted from her above book, Visions of Heaven, in which she takes us on a journey through the afterlife through history, art and recent scientific research.

I’ve taken a 40-year journey myself in my quest for understanding, not just my own near-death experience but those of others, which led me through the history of religions and into the realms of quantum physics, the supernatural and psychedelics. You can read some of it in my ebook Sitting in the Lotus Blossom. I look forward to reading Ms. Miller’s book and will write a review here after I do.

•  •  •  •  •  •  •

The Last Adventure of Life

Inspiring approaches to living and dying

by Maria Dancing Heart Hoaglund

I highly recommend this new release by a dear friend and colleague Maria Dancing Heart Hoaglund for anyone dealing with a life-threatening illness or who is a caregiver for someone who is very ill or near death, or for anyone who is sitting in a hospital waiting room watching over a loved one. This is the 4th incarnation of her life-affirming guide into our last adventure of life.

2d1828a3c7a3f1783f3fabce59fc0bc2As a Transition Guide myself, I recommend her books to all those I come in contact with in my work with the dying. I require it of my students and have given copies to many of my senior friends.

Maria moved to Sedona, Arizona a year or so ago, as you can see from her book’s beautiful  cover, where she has flourished as a hospice minister and end of life counselor.

If you have a friend or loved one who is grieving or nearing the end of  life or is caring for an ill loved one and is open to talking about new ways to explore spirituality and death, or if you yourself are facing this journey in the near future, I  suggest this book as a compassionate companion along the way.

The book  is filled with inspirational stories, poems, prayers, scriptures and guided meditations supported by chapters on grief, relaxation tools and additional reference materials that will help readers reframe their experience of death into one of transition and transformation– a new adventure of life into the true nature of Reality.

Click on book cover to order from amazon.com

Speaking About End-of-Life Care

Last week the Oregon Humanities Center in downtown Portland hosted an unusual topic for a Friday night: Death. Dr. Ira Byock, a Dartmouth professor of medicine and writer on end-of-life and palliative care issues, talked about how most Americans aren’t receiving the kind of end-of-life care they would prefer.  “In surveys,“ Byock says, “an overwhelming majority of people say they would prefer to die at home, but most people actually end up dying in hospital ICUs or nursing homes.”

Dr. Byock stressed the importance of family discussions and of discussing decisions with one’s doctor. He talked about the “death panel” controversy during the fight over Obamacare as a “political ploy,” which scared people into thinking the government would have the power to decide who would live and who would die.

The truth is that filling out a Advance Healthcare Directive lets your family and physician know what you want and don’t want in the way of comfort care and treatment at the end of your life. It also protects your loved ones from having to make what might be unbearably difficult decisions during a medical crisis.

Advance Healthcare Directives speak for you only if you are unable to speak for yourself. You appoint a healthcare agent you trust to carry out your wishes about when to provide, withhold or withdraw care; when to provide pain relief even if it will shorten your life; and how to handle organ donation and other issues.

Local author and end-of-life educator, Diane Goble, who spoke on this taboo subject last week at Sisters Library, said,  “without ‘The Conversation’ to clarify values and preferences, and filling out personal Advance Healthcare Directives, conflict can tear a family apart at a time when they need to come together and be there for their loved one.”

At the bedside of a seriously ill parent is not the time to be arguing about what the person might have wanted. Without guidance from the dying parent, one adult sibling may say mom would have wanted “everything” done, while another says mom would never want to live with a feeding tube or ventilator.

Studies show that families who discuss end-of-life choices beforehand are able to mange the stress and grief process in healthier ways. With everybody on the same page, family can spend time comforting each other and the dying patient, not arguing about healthcare decisions.

Image“The best gift you can give your children,” Goble says, “is knowledge of your end-of-life wishes.” Tell your loved ones what you want—then put it in writing. Talk with your doctor. You do not need a lawyer. You’ll find all the forms you need at http://www.compassionandchoices.org. For more information, contact Diane Goble at dianegoble@mac.com